Startup Chick

Networking. Networking. Networking. It seems to be one of the most important tools to achieve success (as defined by them). 

Yet again, I am reminded of the power and significance of networking. I have heard, read, and seen countless people share experiences and anecdotes of how networking has brought them to their present situations. I don’t doubt it. I’ve had several such experiences too.

However, what’s often times missing from these presentations is the simple and obvious fact that people overlook their already existing networks—-family & best friends. I was talking to my friend about my frustrations amidst a search to find a developer when she mentioned an aunt who will hopefully be a huge help! Why the hell did I not think to ask her before? DUH.  

Talk to your friends and family. Tell em what’s up. Facebook updates and Tweets can get lost (but most likely ignored). 

There’s no reason why your parents, parents’ friends, distant cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or best friends’ relatives shouldn’t be in your network. There’s no shame. The people around you can sometimes be of the greatest help. If you’re being hounded by someone like me, don’t hesitate to connect someone. 

And when someone does help you, PLEASE thank them. 

Just today, I read a post on TNW titled Let’s End Networking, Please. The headline certainly caught my attention as I assumed it would be a well-written rant about the pitfalls of today’s networking phenomenon—-Gannett in his own words, did touch upon the fact that the world needs to focus on adding value to their networks by fostering relationships rather than just adding mere names with fancy job titles. 

My thoughts:

• AG: Stating your desire to network with someone is a bald assertion that you seek a transactional relationship. You want to leverage their business and personal contacts to your advantage. It’s explicitly manipulative. Since when is that such a bad thing? When one has reached a certain level of prominence in his/her trade he/she generally recognizes that fact that people need him/her for connections not for friendship. Just a couple of weeks ago I met Patrick Morin and during an intense conversation about LinkedIn connections he looks at Marti Beller (a post about her is in the works) and says “you accept people because YOU need the connections, people come to me because THEY need the connection.” I soon realized how right he was. Once you’ve reached Patrick Morin status you are absolutely aware of the value/power of your network and you are prepared to handle networking situations. You are not looking for friends or pals, you’re looking for someone that can add value to your already established group of friends. When you’re a 20 year old novice in the industry you are not in it to make friends. You’re in it to seek advise, guidance and venture money. If friendships are established, then that’s great, if not, it’s okay! We should not be setting up this idea that friending > networking in the professional industry. 
• AG: The people you meet through work are perhaps your best pool of potential friends. You have a shared interest with them, spending a substantial part of your day working on similar problems. Placing them off limits as friends because they are work contacts is a false and unnecessary restriction. While I’ll admit I share a similar belief, it definitely has its pitfalls. I have been known to compartmentalize my work and personal life, with good reason. I have come across various situations and have been witness to instances where there is absolutely no separation of a professional and personal setting. Regardless of your ability to maintain professionalism, when your friend bluntly criticizes and dismisses an idea during a meeting, you feel personally attacked. It happens. I have no problems with individuals that are able to connect outside of work and grab beers together, kudos to y’all! We live in a moment of time when corporate culture is an important factor in an employees decision to accept a job offer. Which means that by default I already know that the environment I am going to work in will be one that encourages collaboration, civility and disperse the aura of a happy-to-go-lucky sense of life. So I don’t go to work with the goal to make friends, I go to work to channel my passion and inspiration to produce results. Though I may enjoy working with you every second of every day, I don’t necessarily need or have to be your friend. We can be ‘friendly’ without having to be friends. I think it’s important to note and differentiate the ability to be friendly at work and inviting that person to your birthday party. Personally, I like to diversify my pool of friends. Though some of my closest friends are just as startup crazy as I am, most of my friends are not. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Having people around you that stimulate your inspiration and passion because they bring perspectives from other aspects of the world is one of the greatest assets you have as an entrepreneur. 
• AG: The utilitarian would ask, “What’s wrong with doing business or networking where there is a mutual benefit?” However, business deals done with bad people never end well. If someone is not good enough to be friends with, then why do business with them? Yes, I wanted to ask that question in my first bullet point but I didn’t so I’ll address it here. I have a hard time blaming bad business on the lack of friendship between the mutual parties. In fact I think it’s the complete opposite. I would not do business with most of my friends, so does that mean that I should go find new friends? Don’t they say that opposites attract, anyways? Never say never! Business deals done with good people don’t always end well either! It’s very easy to just say “good” or “bad” but it’s very difficult to actually define those terms. Context is key. Steve Jobs wasn’t perceived or believed to be a good man or even friend material, but that did not stop him from doing “good business.”  

I don’t think the practice of networking should be abolished. Those who understand the art of networking and are able to curate a pool of individuals that add meaning to their lives will certainly reap the benefits. And those that don’t and can’t, simply will not. I was and still am a strong advocate for networking events but only if and when they serve a significant purpose. In the boondocks of Lynchburg, VA we need meetups and networking events. In the world of NGOs & non-profits, setting up networking opportunities allows for potential collaborations (which essentially could solve a lot of problems!). In NYC where most folks are tech-savvy, have 17 different social networking profiles, and can easily access some pretty dope resources the question of networking shifts. It becomes a question of surviving in an environment where everyone seems to be doing the same exact thing based on the same exact philosophy. So the ideal “networking” world, in my opinion, would be “a world where people try to form relationships with you, not just because you can help them find a rockstar CTO but because they want to share, build and collaborate on ideas so they don’t epically fail.”

A virtual hug to Allen for sparking my interest & starting this dialogue! 

Buzz away.